Karen Caton-Brunings
This is a little bit of a read, and it contains some F*Bombs. Enjoy it anyway.
We all want it. We want to believe that we have the power to live aligned with our deepest selves. Limiting beliefs serve as build-in excuses for us to throw our hands in the air and say, “It never works out for me in love/work/creativity/finances.” Those beliefs permit us to give away our power by hiding behind untrue stories buried in our emotional DNA. As a life coach and fitness trainer, I am always inspired by watching clients transform limiting beliefs. But an inspiring client who decided to claim responsibility recently reminded me of the profound impact of what can happen when you own your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
We planned to meet at the high school track on a cold, blustery January day for an outdoor training session. His parents, whom I had coached for years, hired me to help prepare their son for the grueling Coast Guard fitness exam required for entry.
The Coast Guard wasn't his first career choice—not by a long shot. Since childhood, he had wanted nothing more than to become a police officer. However, he struggled academically, working harder than most just to graduate high school by the narrowest of margins. The simplest assignments felt unnecessarily hard, complicated, and unattainable for him back then. He lived with a constant, nagging fear of never measuring up or making it.
Given his arduous journey just to earn that high school diploma, the idea of attaining a college degree en route to law enforcement seemed like an unreachable dream. But he refused to abandon his lifelong aspiration. With stubborn tenacity, he moved forward one grueling class at a time until—against all odds—he proudly held that hard-earned degree in his hands.
After college, he excitedly began an exhaustive effort to secure his dream career in law enforcement. Interview after interview, test after test, he came agonizingly close to being hired by various police agencies, only to be let go in the final rounds time and again. With each disappointment, his core limiting belief—that he simply didn't measure up and couldn't get what he wanted—was reinforced.
After a handful of these spirit-crushing setbacks, he decided to shift trajectories and pursue a career with the Coast Guard—an option that had lingered in the back of his mind as a decent backup plan. The fitness requirements included running 1.5 miles in 12 minutes and 51 seconds, maintaining a bodyweight under 181 pounds, and meeting a few other benchmarks.
Initially, he was 12 pounds over the weight limit and over a minute too slow. With only ten weeks until he'd need to make the cut, the pressure mounted. He worried about what he would do if this pursuit failed too—where would he go from here? Tellingly, he hadn't allowed himself to consider actually succeeding.
The first few sessions focused on running techniques, breathwork, dietary guidance, and optimal nutrition. But as a life coach who uses fitness as a tool, I find that training the heart and mind is more exciting than training the body. So our work also involved discussions about his Coast Guard choice, life's journey so far, and the beliefs that had been holding him back.
I knew he possessed the innate ability to meet the requirements. Physically, he worked incredibly hard—and within three weeks, the evidence manifested. His run times improved dramatically, his gait sleek and fluid. His weight dropped steadily as his body responded.
However, the mental struggle was intense. His belief that failure loomed had a stranglehold on him, as his mindset struggled to keep pace with the rapid physical changes. His brain searched for any shred of evidence that inevitable disappointment awaited—unwilling to celebrate each new milestone. He prepared for defeat, even as all signs pointed to success.
On that January day, his test date nearing, I decided to meet him at the track for a full run through of the test. He arrived with slumped shoulders and hoodie pulled tightly over his head—his body language broadcasting resistance.
"You're going to do this today! I know it!" I proclaimed, as I tied my shoes.
He shrugged listlessly. "I guess. But I'm just really tired today...and I've had this cough..." His preparation for failure, flawless.
As we began warm-up laps, I sensed him retreating deeper into that defining lifelong belief: That things are inherently hard, complicated, unattainable—so he likely wouldn't make the cut today… or ever.
I stopped abruptly, threw my head back, clenched fists thrusting skyward as I bellowed: "THIS IS F*CKING INEVITABLE!” Turning to face him with a huge smile, I said, "You've worked your ass off. You've got this! Your turn—now you say it!”
Staring intently down, he muttered just loudly enough to hear over the wind: "This is f*cking inevitable.”
"THIS IS F*CKING INEVITABLE!!" I screamed enthusiastically. Now you! Say it loud!”
It sounded like he had a mouth full of rocks: "This is f*cking inevitable.”
“Come on. Say it again!” I urged.
He stopped walking, angrily kicking at the track turf. Pulling the hood down further, his knuckles whitened from the tightness of his grip. "I can't! I can't f*cking say it!" Tears streamed as his voice cracked with vulnerability. "I can't because I don't know if it's inevitable. I've gotten my hopes up so many times, only for everything to go sideways."
I grabbed his shoulders firmly, looking him in the eyes. "You're absolutely right—you've had big disappointments. And because you've learned success always feels out of reach, you've failed to see what you've already accomplished against all odds.”
My voice grew more impassioned: "You never thought you'd graduate high school, let alone college—yet you did both, clawing through academic probation, endless tutoring, rebuilding habits from the ground up. Time and again, when you decided success was mandatory, you prevailed despite setbacks.”
"You've course-corrected when needed but never lost sight of what you really want deep down. Everything until now prepared you for this—even the failures, especially the failures. You want to protect, serve, and impact the world more than anything. Take responsibility for what has been AND for what is to come. Own it. All of it. It’s your choice, be who you’ve been or choose to be who you really are.” He stopped kicking the turf and nodded in agreement.
"You have to want this opportunity more than you want to prove your limiting story right. So dammit, decide right here, right now—THIS IS F*CKING INEVITABLE. Say it like you know it's true.”
"This is f*cking inevitable." Responsibility crossed his face.
“Own it.”
Pulling the hoodie halfway off: "This is f*cking inevitable!" More conviction and volume.
"Believe it at your core—take responsibility for the outcome!”
The tears of fear and resignation transitioned to truth and power. "THIS IS F*CKING INEVITABLE!" He boomed into the wind, his entire body opening up. He paced back and forth, allowing himself actually to feel it.
With his fists in the air, he screamed, "THIS IS F*CKING INEVITABLE!" His scream contained multitudes—shedding old beliefs, embracing unbounded potential, affirming self-worth, and full responsibility for all of it.
At that moment, all he did was make a choice. He took responsibility for his beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions—that’s all. That day, he chose hope and possibility instead of resignation and defeat. And he ran his fastest time to date.
That revelatory day sparked unstoppable momentum. He passed the test, went to basic training, and returned an exemplary guardsman—responsible, resilient, powerful, capable of creating what he wants and unwavered by setbacks.
We all arrive at pivotal crossroads where the truth of who we are collides with the limiting stories and internalized beliefs about ourselves. In those moments, we can retreat into the fear-lined corners of our limiting beliefs, or we can take radical responsibility to rewrite our story.
When we choose retreat, we feel lost, lonely, and in pain. But when we courageously own our lives, possibilities pour forth uninhibited. Even if things don't work out exactly as planned, we don't abandon ourselves - we grow.
Last week, as I celebrated his graduation with him and his family, I barely recognized the young man before me. His physical transformation was dwarfed by his internal one. As I approached, grinning proudly, tears welled up witnessing his newfound confidence and emboldened belief in himself.
With a subtle grin and steady gaze, he asked me to hold out my hand. Placing a commemorative Coast Guard coin in my palm, he stated with profound certainty, "This was inevitable." His shoulders were square, chin raised - the voice of someone who took responsibility for what was and for all that is to come.
We all want the power to craft lives that align with our deepest selves. When we take radical ownership of our beliefs, thoughts, and actions, personal growth becomes inevitable.
If you want to take responsibility for your story and want to explore the magic of a powerful coaching partnership, schedule a free 30-minute discovery with Karen Caton-Brunings here: https://calendly.com/kcbcoaching/1-1-life-coaching-discovery-call-with-karen-caton-brunings